Feng Shui for Love and Relationships

Feng Shui for Love and Relationships

Feng Shui is the balance of art and science put into form by the Chinese to create harmony in life. Chinese and East Asian cultures use Feng Shui in every aspect of life from the location of crops to city planning to relationship dynamics. You can use Feng Shui principles in your life to create more abundance, including enhancing your love life.

How does Feng Shui affect our love relationships?

Study after study confirms how our environment affects our behavior, mood, and decision making. In recent years research has shown that our surroundings lead to change in our biochemistry because our mood affects our hormones and our other internal mechanisms. Meaning how we feel emotionally can change how we feel physically which is greatly affected by the places we spend time in. Staging your constant environments such as the area of your home, master bedroom, or bedside tables, to serve a specific purpose and maintain a specific positive energy can be a great added benefit to our health and our love life.

In this article, we will discuss how good Feng Shui can energize our self-love capacity, our love and marriage relationships, and our future prospects of family.

Basics of Feng Shui

To start, let’s review some basic elements of Feng Shui. The first is the intention for Qi to smoothly flow throughout a space. Qi (chee) is the energy created from all living things. The concept of Qi takes a lifetime to grasp even with the deepest studies, however it is something even a novice can feel immediately. Qi was taught to me as the steam coming off of rice while being cooked. It is not the rice itself but the essence of the rice. Think of Qi as the “vibe.” Next, it is important to understand Yin and Yang. This is the balance of feminine (yin) and masculine (yang) energy. Both are important in harmony and in relationships.

Yin / Feminine / dark / slow / cool

Yang / Masculine / light / fast / warm

Every space of the home is important but in this article we will be talking about the bedroom and love space in your home. In some instances, the bedroom and love corner or space may be the same place depending on the structure of your home. If not that is ok, we will discuss them separately, and just know you can always bring them together.

The Bedroom

I find this to be the most inappropriately used space in most people’s homes which can explain why they are not receiving what they desire. The bedroom has only two functions; sleep and sex. Other than that, you should limit your time in here, shut the bedroom door if you have one, and keep the energy (Qi) in this room as consistent from day to day as possible. This allows you to contain the sultry energy that you have cultivated without influence or distraction from the rest of your home.

Position your bed so the foot is not facing the door or stairs; not doing this can be extremely draining and can cause people to never feel fully rested or satisfied. If possible, place the bed on a windowless wall letting it be the most dramatic piece in the room. Furniture on either side of the bed should be symmetrical, but not necessarily identical. The symmetry symbolizes partnership, a balance of the yin and yang in harmony.

Keep the sides of the bed clean, simple, and only have things that will aid in either sleep or sex. This could be a simple herbal formula, massage oil, or maybe your favorite candle, just keep it simple. With the placement of objects using Feng Shui it is important to always remember your intention. Objects are symbolic, not just decorative. They have the ability to harbor memories and to evoke emotions. Under the bed should be clear to avoid nightmares or the literal holding on of memories.

I once worked with a patient who was experiencing recurring failing loving relationships. She was beautiful, smart, funny, and just had the most love for life. But for some reason, her relationships that seemed promising at the start would end unexpectedly. She invited me over to work on her space and help her attract more of what she wanted to find love. Her apartment had beautiful décor, it was well lit, and it was extremely clean and well-organized. She had pictures of her adoring friends and family around, healthy food in her cabinets and a great sense of style. When she took me in the bedroom to show me around there were two things that immediately stood out.

Artist : Muhammed Salah
Artist : Muhammed Salah

First, was the mirror on a dresser directly across from her bed with positive affirmations alongside her journal. The second were old pictures and yearbooks under her bed. When I asked her about the pictures she confessed to having nightmares and recurring dreams from a past love who had tragically died. Her heart was still healing from the pain, and every subsequent relationship she had was always compared to this love. Her positive affirmations attached to the mirror were problematic because they served as a constant reminder of what she wanted and not what she had which kept her tossing and turning at night.

Changing those two small things in her home, clearing under her bed and moving the affirmations to another space, gave her the freedom to move on from her past love and open her heart to a new relationship which followed shortly after these changes.

Protect your bedroom

For many spaces of the home so many things can happen that the spaces need to be set up to facilitate all types of activities and energies . That is completely different for the bedroom. It is very specific to these two needs, sleep and sex. When this space is set for these two acts, your nervous system will react appropriately just by walking into the room.

Like an ocean wave, your parasympathetic system (rest and digest system) will acknowledge the surrounding putting you in the mood for the appropriate activity. Your mind body will say “this is my bedroom, I am going to sleep” or “ this is my bedroom, I am going to make love.” The message is clear, putting the mind body in a relaxed mood.

Conditioning your nervous system to positively react to specific areas has endless benefits. In this case, when trying to start a family many couples grow irritated by timed intercourse which takes the pleasure out of sex. Having your bedroom set up to enhance romantic energy can help support the positive and fun sensation before intercourse which irrefutably increases changes of conception.

TIP: If you are wanting to grow love or a partner to share your bed, place a healthy growing plant or fresh flowers on the side of the bed you do not sleep on.

Plants for the bedroom: lavender, peony

Love Area

The love area may be the same as your bedroom depending on how your house is set up. This area is located at the southwest area region of your home or the far right corner side depending on what school of thought you prefer. For simplicity, I suggest using the far back right side. The love and relationship area embodies the element earth with the colors pink and red.

The earth element symbolizes strength, stability, and the ground. These are great foundations for relationships that should be regularly attended to in ensuring a healthy partnership. In the love area , the décor should come in pairs to show a balanced relationship. If this is not your bedroom, this may be a great place to put two reading chairs, incorporate photos of successful love, and add round items to elevate your desired ambience.

A beautiful consultation I once had the pleasure of providing came in the form of helping a couple create their love space. They were openly honest in confessing they were in couples counseling working through problems in their marriage. After counseling, they would come home and erupt into fighting after holding back all the things that were unsaid. They both disclosed that home is where all of the fights started, and soon, from the front door to every room began to feel like a different type of battle ground. All the emotions would rise up, even in peaceful moments, just from the passed drama in the spaces.

Artist : Muhammed Salah

Because of the comfortable setting they were more relaxed and knew they now had a safe space where they could go to work through a fight. Because of these changes, they saw each other in a new light, literally – the sun would warm the room with soft pink, or the low lights would kick in if it was later in the evening. After each conversation, they would open the window to air out the negative energy and accept the resolution they came up with together. The couple found themselves using that room to resolve their fighting, resulting in having productive conversations about their future, which later led to the creation of a happy family.

TIP : Remember to balance the yin and the yang with your love and relationship space so that harmony is fostered in the relationship. Meaning if you are going to use pink sheer curtains (yin) consider leather reading chairs (yang).


Set your space to attract what you want, nourish the positive that you have, and preserve your energy of love. In knowing your space changes your biochemistry, you can create a constant healing environment for yourself and your partner at all times and attract love through these Feng Shui tips.

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